My gift lies in the going out and the coming back, the Envoy had said to her. But you were destroyed. Completely. That is your gift. Your power. You weigh nothing. You weigh less than nothing. It is a lucky life.

Yes, thought Mars later as she sat in the room with the doctor. She stared at him. She knew that he would never understand, but she said it out loud anyway.

I was lucky to be tortured.